Whether there is willpower, whether it is possible to rely on it, our amount of volitional effort is limited or not, many famous psychologists have argued for a dozen years and still continue to argue. In one of his books, Benjamin Hardy focuses on the idea, that I like very much, -he proposes to rely not only on the strength of personal will and personality, but on the strength of the surrounding environment. He believes that relying only on willpower is a direct path to stress and exhaustion.
Just think – the right environment itself organises your behaviour. If you are in a library where there is no Internet – you will not need to overcome the temptation to look through your social media. If there is no sweets at home, then most probably you will be too lazy to go to the store to get some sweets, and if all your friends run marathons or build businesses, then you too will be busy with these things with a much greater probability.
Willpower is the ability to MAKE AN EFFORT, to force yourself or the will to be free in what you really want. It is the movement towards our goals that makes us free. Testing the approaches of our activity gives us energy, a reflection of tight bum and six packs are pleasing to the eye, and the DONE tick in the diary pleases our hand. Avoidance, laziness, pseudo-activity will work against us. They take our energy and power. They bring disappointment, because so much time has passed, and the goal is still far away.
And then as a consequence more derogatory and oppressive thought forms and excuses will follow:
1. I am a loser
2. I can not, will not work, I do not have enough …..
3. I have already started so many times.
So what to do if there is no Power or Will to change once and for all?
First of all, it is important to dispel two dangerous myths;
- To get the result, you must overcome yourself, go beyond, through the thorns to the races.
- All the best there, behind the comfort zone! All or nothing. Pain or gain.
But the trouble is that every day and every hour facing a certain large-scale problem might be unbearable for many of us. We are more inclined to solve problems either by leap or by starvation. Both approaches lead to mental and physical losses and exhaustion. So,
1. No need to over-exert, do not invent difficulties where there are none. Use and focus on your strengths. Believe me, it will be more fun and more pleasant than focusing on your weaknesses.
2. Schedule slow changes. Don't expect changes to happen right away. Be realistic, understand that you need time. This understanding will keep you away from disappointment of not getting quick results. Don't let it to deprive you of strength and faith in yourself.
3. Do it with pleasure, for example, start exercising with 2- 5 minutes per day. The following days you can add one more minute. And if today was fun, and not through force, then tomorrow you will definitely want to repeat that fun again :-))
4. Create yourself a support system – a team of friends, motivational quotes, a reward for each step of your progress.
5. Do not demand too much from yourself. If you start abruptly, then the EGO just gets scared. Forcing yourself will with each day be harder and more unbearable.
6. After each success even if it is small – recognise and appreciate it and in return reward yourself. For example, A – if you are exercising every day – have a day off, relax and pamper yourself. B – If you are on a strict diet for 6 days – let the 7th day be your CHEATING day. C – if you avoid sugar, allow yourself daily as a reward to have only 1 small bite of chocolate. Trust me, this one small bite will keep your hormones balanced.
Move slowly but constantly!!!! This will help you and your psyche to get used to every centimeter of success, progress and transformation!!!! Even if slowly, note and appreciate the changes every day.
Do you like the rule of small steps and small changes? Do you apply it in your life?